A man walks into work with a smile

Every morning, he walks in and passes the security guard with a great big grin on his face. One day, bleary eyed, the security guard asks him why he’s so chipper every morning.

“Well, it’s simple. Every morning when my alarm goes off, I rub my wife on the shoulder and say ‘Blondie, Blondie, eyes so blue; How I thrill to make sweet love to you.’ Then I get a quicky and my day is gold. You should try it”

The next day, the man sees the security guard is covered in bruises with one eye swelled shut. “What the hell happened to you?”

The guard responds, “I took your advice! I rubbed my wife on the shoulder, told her a poem, and she beat the holy hell out of me!”

“What did you tell her?”

“Nappy head, nappy head, green eyes like a frog; If I could roll your fat ass over, I’d fuck you like a dog.”

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