A man walks into church and sits in the confessional booth.

The priest sits down and the man says, “Forgive me for I have sinned. I was golfing yesterday and I cursed.”

The priest replies, “Would you like to tell me what happened?”

“Well,” the guy says. “I was out on the seventh hole, and I’d just hit my best drive of the day. Straight ahead, down the middle of the fairway, and a long way down. I was feeling pretty good about myself as I walked to the ball. I wasn’t 30 feet away when a squirrel ran out of the trees and grabbed my ball.”

The priest interrupts, “Oh, I see. So that’s when you cursed?”

The man replies, “No Father, I didn’t. As the squirrel was running away, it got to the end of the fairway when it was caught by a hawk, which flew high into the air.”

Once again, he priest interrupts, “So that’s when you cursed?”

The man continues, “No Father. The hawk started flying away, and I followed it, because it flew in the direction of the green. As it passed over the green, it squeezed the squirrel with its talons, causing the ball to drop about three feet from the pin.”

The priest says, “Don’t tell me you missed the fucking putt!”

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