A man walks into a very fancy restaurant…

“Alright!” The man yells. “Where’s the fucking manager?” The manager quickly comes to the front desk and asks “would you mind keeping your voice down and avoiding such language.”

“Shut up, you cocksucker!” The man replies. “Your sign says your looking for a pianist. So where the fuck’s your piano?”

Before the manager can even respond, the man sits down and place one of the most beautiful pieces of classical music. Astonished, the manager says “That’s amazing. Did you write that?”

“Of course I did.” Says the pianist. “That song is called ‘I want to fuck your wife on three sofa while her sister watches.'”

The manager says “That’s terrible! Could you play something else?” And so the pianist plays yet another beautiful classical piece. “That one is called ‘My friend and I are gonna fuck you from both ends.'”

“That’s even worse!” Says the manager. After some thought, he agrees to hire the pianist, but insist he doesn’t announce the title of his songs when playing.

A week goes by, and the guests are enjoying the live music added to the restaurant. One night, however, as the waiters are working, one of them trips and spills sour cream all over the pianist’s pants. Frustrated, he hurries off to the restroom to clean up, but enters the woman’s restroom by accident.

Upon leaving one of the stalls, a woman sees the man and the sour cream all over his pants. Confused, she asks “Excuse me, but do you know you’ve got semen all over your pants?”

And the man replies “Know it? I fucking wrote it.”

submitted by /u/ImSickOfTheseShells
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