He puts the octopus down on a barstool and tells everyone in the bar,
“this is the world’s most talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument you can find – in fact, i’ll bet $100 that nobody here has an instrument that this octopus can’t play.”
Somebody in the bar pulls out a guitar, and immediately, the octopus picks it up and plays a rip-roaring solo. The man pays up his $100.
Next, someone produces a trumpet. The octopus grabs the horn and plays a sweet tune. The mans pays up his $100.
Then a Scotsman pulls out his bagpipes. The octopus fumbles with the pipes and has a confused look.
“Ha!” the Scotsman says, “Ye cannot play it, can ye octopus?”
The octopus looks up and him and says “Play it? I’m going to fuck it as soon as i figure out how to remove its plaid pajamas.”