He realizes that he’s home, in his bed. With growing shock he realizes that he’s wearing pajamas. He notices a glass of water on his night stand, a couple of aspirins, and a note.
The note reads, “Darling, I’m off to the store. Breakfast is on the table. eternally yours, your loving wife”.
Completely confused as to why his wife is being so nice, he walks through a spotless house to the kitchen, where a nice breakfast is waiting for him. His son is sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book.
The man asks, “son, what the hell happened last night?”
“Well dad, you stumbled in at 3 AM, completely drunk, puked in the hallway, and pissed all over the toilet.”
“Why is mom being so nice?”
“Because when she was trying to get you into bed, and mom was trying to take off your pants, you started screaming, BITCH LEAVE ME ALONE I’M MARRIED!”