His boss noticing the pair of matching black eyes decides to pull him aside and ask him what happened.
“Jesus Dave, how did that happen?”
“Well Bill… There was a woman standing in line at the grocery store with her sundress wedged in her ass crack. So I pulled it out and she blacked my left eye.”
His boss gave him a concern look before asking further, “Well what about the other black eye.”
“Oh that one I got for tucking it back in.”