A man see’s a sign on a bar window “Win $1,000,000 – Details inside”

Curiosity peaked, he enters the bar and asks the bartender what’s required to win the million.

“Ah, that?” The bartender casually replied, offering a challenging smirk. “It requires the completion of 3 tasks I believe to be impossible. It brought in a lot of business when I first put that notice up over a year ago, but no one has even been able to get past the first challenge, so folks’ve stopped tryin’.” He offered in explanation.

Intrigued the stranger pressed on, “What do you have to do?”

“You see the bouncer over there?” The bartender pointed to a man that had the appearance of someone who could take on Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson. “You have one punch to knock him out.”

“After that, there’s a crocodile out back that I’ve had as a pet for years — has a toothache. You have to extract that tooth, and not get eaten.”

“Finally, there’s a hooker that works upstairs, never had a an orgasm. Right shame, that is. You have to give her an orgasm.”

“Of course, there’s a lot of money on the line so to up the stakes you have to purchase, and consume, enough liquor for me to be confident your piss drunk. Complete all three tasks, drinks are refunded and you’re a million dollars richer!”

Man thinks hard on this, then agrees to give it a shot. “Cheers!” The bartender says as he pours the man his first glass of whiskey.

After the man seem sauced enough, the bartender gave him permission to begin. The man staggers over to the bouncer *WHAM!!* knocks him out cold in one punch.

Drunkenly making his way to the back, where the crocodile was waiting, he clumsily gets through the back door. There was suddenly a violent cacophony of growls and screams that met the ears of all inside, as everyone was sure the crocodile was killing the man.

“Damn!” Thought the bartender! No one had ever made it past the bouncer so he thought this man might actually have a chance, but blood stained clothing suddenly stuck to the back door window, and all though he couldn’t see anything, he was sure the Croc had killed the man. Everything went quiet.

Suddenly the door burst open, and an exhausted bloody mess of a man, stumbled into the bar.

“Alright!” The stranger spat! “Where’s that bitch with the toothache!!!”

submitted by /u/BioNova33
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