A man is pulled over by police for speeding

Police 1: do you know how fast you are going?

Man: no, but I do know I am escaping a bank heist.

Police 1: Really?

Man: yes, I robbed the bank and the loot is in my car’s trunk

Police 1: is that everything?

Man: no sir, I have a dead body in my backseat and a gun in my glove compartment

[Police 1 calls for backup and now the swat team approaches the man’s car]

SWAT 1: I’m going to need you step outside the vehicle

[ the man steps out and the police search the car]

SWAT 1: he appears to have no gun, no stolen money, and no dead body.

Police 1: but he told me he committed those crimes…

Man: well I bet that liar told you I was speeding too!

submitted by /u/otterdragon
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