A man is lost in the woods, but finds a cabin next to a small ravine

He knocks on the door and an old Chinese man answers. He asks if he could possibly stay the night, and the Chinese man says he can “But…” he warns “My daughter is very beautiful, and if you lay a finger on her I will inflict upon you the worst three tortures China has ever produced.”

The man assures him he won’t touch his daughter, and is invited in for a meal before bed. As he sits down to eat, he sees the daughter and she isn’t just beautiful, she is the most stunning woman he has ever laid eyes upon. He tries subtly flirting with her, and after dinner she whispers in his ear “Join me in my room when my father falls asleep.”

The man can’t help himself, and that night sneeks into her room for several hours of lovemaking, before returning to his own.

When he wakes up, he feels a pressure on his chest, and notices it’s a huge rock. He sees a note that says “Chinese torture no.1: rock on chest.” Shrugging, and figuring these tortures aren’t going to be so bad, he stands up, casually tossing the rock out of the window and down the ravine in defiance.

It is then he notices a second note on the windowsill “Chinese torture no.2: rock tied to balls.” Seeing a thin bit of wire unspooling as the rock falls, the man decides broken legs are better than castration, and leaps out of the window.

He sees a large banner on the floor below simply reading “Chinese torture no.3: cock tied to bedpost.”

submitted by /u/Wolfblood-is-here
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