A man is driving home when he spots the most stunningly beautiful redhead trying to hitchhike. He stops next to her, but just as he does an old man jumps out of the bushes and points a shotgun at him…

He points both barrels at the man and yells “Start jerking off!”

“W-WHAT?!” Yells the man

“Start jerking off or I’m taking your head clean off your shoulders!”

The man desperately unzips his pants and begins to masturbate, after a solid hour he pleads for the man to let him go

“No! Keep jerking off, or I’m filling your head with lead!”

The man keeps masturbating for another two hours, before throwing his hands down

“I can’t go on! You’ll just have to shoot me! I couldn’t get an erection or produce another drop of sperm if I tried!”

“Good, -” Said the old man “-Now you can drive my Daughter home.”

submitted by /u/HarmonicTurmoil
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