A man has a parrot that likes to swear.

One night, a girl he’s been dating for a while, is coming over to his place. So he grabs the parrot by the neck and tells him

“Listen you little shit, no swearing tonight, alright!? Also I will tie two string on your legs, and when the girl pull one of them I want you to come up with a compliment for her!”.

So the next night his date comes, they are having great time when she notices the silent parrot in its small cage.

“Hey, what a pretty bird, she exclaims. And why does it have strings tied on his legs?”.

The man replies “Pull one of them and you’ll find out.”

So she pulls one of the strings and the parrot says “Oh, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen”.

“How delightful”, exclaims the woman. “What if I pull the other one?”

“Go on, pull it” says the man, so she does.

“Your beauty is beyond divine, when you go out the sun is overshadowed by your shine” squeaks the parrot.

“And what if I pull both strings” she asks.

In that moment the parrot looks his owner dead in the eye, then turns slowly toward and girl and yells “I’ll fall, you dumb fuckin cunt!”

submitted by /u/Dimi7rozavar
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