Man: Father, I took the Lord’s name in vain while out golfing today. Priest: That’s ok, my son, golf is a frustrating sport, and we all slip up from time to time. Man: No, no, I would really feel better if I could atone for my sin. Priest: Well then by all means, tell my what happened. Man: Well, I teed off on 14th hole and shanked the ball into the rough. Priest: I can understand why that would frustrate you. Man: no, that’s not what did it. I hit the ball out of the rough, and as it was in the air, wouldn’t you know, it hit a bird midflight and landed in the woods. Priest: Ah, and that’s what caused you to blaspheme? Man: no, not yet. My next shot, I hit it and it hit a branch and ricocheted into a sand trap. Priest: who among us wouldn’t lose our temper at that? Man: no, no. I kept my cool after that shot. But then I hit it out of the trap and onto the green and it rolled 4 feet within the hole- Priest: Jesus Christ, you didn’t miss a 4-foot putt did you?!
- Call me a racist if you want, but the other side of the border is a sea of violence, corruption, and stupidity I wouldn’t touch with a twenty-foot pole.
- A couple of guys stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our neighborhood store.