A man finds a lamp on a beach. He rubs it, and out pops a genie.

“I will give you three wishes,” the genie says. “But be warned: whatever you wish for, your ex will get twice that.”

“I wish for a fabulously large mansion,” the man says.

“Are you sure?” asks the genie. “Your ex will get a mansion twice as large, twice as opulent.”

“I’m sure.” Poof! The man finds himself standing with the genie in the largest, finest mansion he’s ever seen (if only because he hasn’t seen his ex’s new home).

“And your second wish?”

“I wish for one billion dollars!”

“You do realize your ex will get two billion dollars?” warns the genie.

“Yes, I know, and this my wish. Please grant it!”

Moments later, the man has a few more digits in his bank account. So does his ex.

“And for your third and final wish?” asks the genie.

“Scare me half to death.”

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