A Man Coming Home from the Bar

James gets up from his barstool after a long night drinking alone and falls right to the floor.

He crawls to the door, pulls himself up to open it, and falls through the door as it swings open.

James continues this process as he crawls home pulling himself by his hands; falling to the floor with every pull.

As he rounds the corner to his apartment, James pulls himself up to the door knob, inserts the key and twist it and the door open. As much expected, James collapses to the floor, unable to support himself in this drunken state.

James finally makes it up the stairs to the room where his wife is soundly sleeping. He wrestles with himself while removing his clothes, attempting to be as quiet as possible.

James decides that he cannot make it into the shower to clean himself off, and he pulls himself up into bed.

Unsuccessfully, James awoke his wife on his way into bed. She stared at him angrily and said, “You were out at the bar again, weren’t you?”

“No,” said James, trying to sound inconspicuous. “I was out at the movies with a some buddies.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Said his wife. “The bar called and they said you left your wheelchair there.”

submitted by /u/scwoopz
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