A man and a goose are best friends. They do everything together. One day the man says to the goose, “Let’s go see a movie.” The goose agrees, and they both make their way to the movie theater. Upon arrival the woman at the ticket counter says, “I’m sorry sir, you cannot bring your pet into the movie theater.” The man protests that the goose is his best friend and that they do everything together, but the woman at the counter will not sell him a ticket. Dejected, the man and his friend goose leave. A block from the movie theater the man has a stroke of genius, he decides to place the goose in his pants, buy one ticket, and go to see the show. He places the goose in his pants, goes back to the theater, the woman at the counter asks him if he took the goose home, he lies and says he left him at home. Once they get inside of the theater the movie has already started and there is but one seat left next to an old man and woman. The man sits down next to the old man, and realizing he cannot let the goose out on to a seat since the theater is at capacity, he unzips his fly so the goose can stick his neck out and watch the movie. Toward the middle of the movie, the old woman leans over to her husband and says, “These theaters are not what they used to be. Look at that couple over there, they’re not even watching the movie, they’re just kissing. And those teenagers over there are texting instead of enjoying the show.” The old man leans toward the old woman, while gesturing his thumb back toward the man and his goose and says, “You think that’s bad! This guy’s dick is eating my popcorn!”
- What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?
- The deaf bookkeeper