A kid walks in on his parents taking a shower…

He hears them saying to one another: “Honey, you have big balls.” “Babe, you have big tits”.

The boys asks, “Mom, dad, what are tits and balls?”

His parents reply, “Oh, uhhh… that’s just another way of saying hats and scarves, now go play.” So the kid goes off to play.

Later, he walks into the kitchen and overhears his parents arguing: “Shut up you stupid bitch!” “Go to hell you bastard!”

The kid asks, “Mom, dad, what do bitch and bastard mean?”

To which his parents reply, “Oh, uhhh… that’s just another way of saying boys and girls. Now run along and play.” So the boy goes off to play.

The next day, his family is preparing for thanksgiving dinner. The boy walks into the dining room where his dad is munching on some candy corn. His dad accidentally bites his tongue and yells “shit!”

The boy asks, “Dad, what does shit mean?”

To which his dad replies, “Oh, uhhh… that’s just another way of saying candy corn. Now go see what your mother is up to.”

The dad takes another handful of candy corn and proceeds to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Meanwhile, the boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is carving the turkey. However, as he walks in she accidentally cuts herself and yells “fuck!”

The boy asks, “Mom, what does fuck mean?”

To which the mother replies, “Oh, uhhh… that’s just another way of saying carve or cut.” Just then, the doorbell rings. “Ah, that must be your grandparents.” says the mother. “Be a good boy and go answer the door for mommy.”

So the boy runs into the living room. As he opens the door, he greets his grandparents: “Hi, bitches and bastards. Hang your tits and balls on the coat rack. Dad is in the bathroom eating shit and mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey.”

NOTE: Heard this one when I was 10 y/o. Boy was the 90’s a weird time to live.

Edit: Formatting. Hopefully this reads a little better.

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