A guy with a monkey on his shoulder walks into a bar. No one really pays him any attention. He walks up to the bar and asks for a drink. The monkey gets off his shoulder and heads over to a pool table. The monkey picks up the cue ball and then eats it.
“You’re going to have to pay for another cue ball,” the bartender says.
“Relax,” the man says, “I will return with it in a few days.”
3 days later, the man comes back with his monkey and hands the bartender the cue ball. He then sits down and orders a drink. The monkey gets off his shoulder. It grabs a peanut, sticks it up its butt, and then eats it.
“Why did he do that?” the bartender asks.
The man replies, “He likes to measure things now beforehand.”