A guy was standing on the edge of Golden gate bridge…

… contemplating suicide. Out of nowhere comes out Santa and asks the guy:

Ho ho ho, whats the matter son?

Guy replies:

It’s too much for me. This life isn’t worth living for…


Well, son, tell me what’s wrong, I’m Santa i make wishes come true.


Well, my wife is whoring around, won’t cook, doesn’t love me anymore. No point in living…


Done, you’re wife is gonna love you, gonna cook for you, everything is gonna be okay. Any other problems?

G: My son is going to fail highschool, doesn’t study at all, does drugs, drinks, just a mess.

S: From tomorrow he is gonna start studying and stop indulging in drinking and drugs, all is well, ho ho ho.

G: Thanks Santa, is there something I can do to repay you?

S: You can suck Santa’s dick.

So the guy starts sucking on Santa’s dick, while he is sucking, Santa asks him:

Hey how old are you?

G: 50.

S: You fuck, you’re 50 and still believe in Santa.

submitted by /u/notimportant1997
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