The Bartender says “that’ll be a dollar” The guy thinks “man, that’s cheap” but the beer turned out to be delicious. So he finishes his beer and decides to take a chance. “Bartender, I’ll have your finest wine” the bartender goes through a long process of showing the bottle, opening it, aerating the wine, and pouring it into a nice glass before saying “That’ll be 50 cents.” The guy can’t believe it, so he thinks “fuck it” and says “I’ll have a whole bottle of your best scotch.” The bartender hands it to him and says “here, on the house.” Curiosity finally gets the better of the guy so he asks “Ok, where’s the owner?” The bartender replies “upstairs with my wife.” The guy asks “what’s he doing upstairs with your wife?” And the bartender looks the man in the eye and replies “the same thing I’m doing to his business”
- I believe autocorrect was invented by history’s most famous scientist.
- I asked a newly immigrated Asian lady for a phone number.