A guy confesses to his psychiatrist that he’s having trouble at work…

“What sort of trouble?” asks the shrink.

“I work in the production line at a pickle factory, and I know this is going to sound crazy, but lately I’ve been fantasizing about putting my penis into the pickle-slicer.”

“My God, man!” the shrink exclaims. “You can’t do that!”

“I know! I know! The consequences would be disastrous! But it’s become this weird obsession and I can’t stop thinking about it!”

The concerned doctor does what he can to dissuade his troubled patient from enacting this horrible idea. Things seem to be going well and the fellow perks up a bit over the next few sessions, although he admits that he still thinks about it from time to time. Finally, one day the bloke arrives for his session with a hangdog expression on his face. Before the shrink can say anything, the guy says,

“Well, I’ve done it.”

“Done what?”

“I lost my mind at work the other day, and when no one else was around on the factory floor, I did it: I put my penis in the pickle slicer.”

“Good Lord!” cries the shrink. “What happened?”

“Well, I got caught and they bloody well sacked me right on the spot!”

“But what happened with the pickle slicer?”

“Oh, that… yeah, they fired her, too.”