A guy and his lawyer walk into an attorney’s office.

The attorney asks what he can do for them and the guy says, “I owe a lotta money to some people, I’m looking for help” the attorney asks how he lost it all and the guy tells him, “I’m a gambling man” Attorney asks, “what kind of gambling?” And the guy says, “cards, races, fights, baseball, you name it. I’ll bet on anything. Matter of fact, I bet you $2500 I can lick my eyeball.” The attorney says, “your tongue don’t look that long to me. Deal.” So the man takes his fake eyeball out, sticks his tongue to it, puts it back in with a smug grin. He can tell the attorney is mad so he goes, “okay I’ll give you a chance to make your money back and then some. Double or nothing. I bet you $5000 I can shoot a paper ball in that basket from across the room.” Now the attorney knows he’s only got one good eye so he takes the deal again. The man shoots his shot from clear across the room, drains it and comes to sit down. Again the attorney feels slighted. The man says, “I know that wasnt fair either, I used to play basketball in college. How about one final bet? I bet you $10,000 I can pee into that trash can from across the room and not miss a drop.” The attorney knows its a steal. Impossible. “You’re on”, he goes. So the man goes to the other side of the room, proceeds to take it out and starts urinating everywhere. The desk, the walls, windows, counters and floors. The attorney jumps up and goes “AH-HA! YOU MISSED! I WIN! WHERES MY 10 GRAND?!” The lawyer’s just sitting there silent, shaking his head in his hand. The attorney asks, “whats the matter with you?” The lawyer goes, “on the way over here, he bet ME a HUNDRED THOUSAND he could piss all over your office and you’d be happy about it!!!”

submitted by /u/PullingWeight1918
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