A drunk walks into a bar he’s never been in before…

He sees an enormous pickle jar on the top shelf that is overflowing with $100 bills. He asks the bartender for a beer and a shot, and decides to ignore it. Six drinks in, curiosity gets the best of him. “Wuz, uh… what’s wilth the jar o’ money?” The bartender replies that there is a $100 buy in, and if you successfully complete 3 tasks, you get the whole jar. “It can’t be that hard!” He slaps down a Benjamin. “What do I need to do?” The bartender then points to a 6’5″ bodybuilder. “First, beat up our bouncer.” “And then?” The drunk asks. “Then, I have an angry Rottweiler out back that needs a tooth removed.” “Okay… and?” The bartender finishes, “There is a 74 year old prostitute that lives upstairs that has a LOT of experience. Get her to reach a real orgasm, and you get the whole jar.” With that, the man leaps off his bar stool and heads toward the bouncer. BAM! In one punch, he knocks him out and heads out the back door. For the next 12 minutes the bar patrons listen as the canine howls and barks. Shuffling and slamming sounds echo through the bar and screams pierce the air. Finally, the drunk stumbles in with torn clothes. Bloody and out of breath he looks the bartender in the face and says…”Okay… where’s the hooker with a sore tooth?”

submitted by /u/mach_oddity
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